In late Victorian London lived many detectives
who were the rivals of Sherlock Homes.
[Up-tempo piano music plays]
[Doorbell ringing]
Hmm, hmm.
Oy,yi,yi..
Good day to you.
A day can change suddenly.
- Well, now. -SOLOMONS: Yeah?
I don't know too much about the market.
There, my dear, young sir, we can agree.
How much can you offer?
I tell you what.
You come back and see me when you want to sell some diamonds.
But these --
If you'll excuse me, but marbles I don't buy.
Well, very well. I shall take them elsewhere.
Please. It could damage my reputation
to be seen looking at such rubbish.
[Doorbell ringing]
[ Laughs 1
Same old Solomons.
SOLOMONS: You should give me lessons in being big-hearted.
So, are you buying or selling? It's a pleasure, I don't think.
I'm merely making a few inquiries.
You mean I'm not to be the victim?
In that case, you're quite right.
Today's an exceptionally nice day.
[Laughs ] It's a good job I'm not sensitive.
- You want a glass of tea? -Thank you.
Come.
Go keep an eye on the office,
but, mind you, don't do no business.
A customer comes, you send for me.
You really ought to learn to delegate.
Oh, I should train someone to do my job.
Oh, yes. Then what's to become of me?
So, who's in trouble?
No one yet.
- But somebody soon will be, eh? -With a bit of luck.
Just so long as it isn't me.
Oh, this is kind of you.
And the picture business is paying dividends already, hmm?
I heard the insurers was paying you
to get back the Franz Hals what was stolen.
Which I Shall.
Oh, I don't doubt you'll get it.
The question is "Will they?"
You could hurt a person's feelings.
If such a person had got feelings.
DORRINGTON: [Chuckling]
So, you like I should look after it for a while, eh?
Huh?
Oh, no!
You're barking up the wrong tree entirely.
Oh, so convince me.
This is just an old friend I've been having reframed.
Oy, this is a friend?
DORRINGTON: A man's best friend.
I haven't got a doggy.
Nor I, but it's a popular print.
- Is this so? -it's called "Trust."
It should hang on the wall of your office maybe.
It does.
Now I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.
[ Both laugh ]
Tell me about the French crown jewels instead.
What crown?
DORRINGTON: Were any lost during the revolution?
- What revolution? -1789.
1789 I was in business already?
Listen. I'm serious. Any particular stone?
Like a diamond?
DORRINGTON: Probably.
There is a legend of a diamond.
DORRINGTON: Valuable?
Huh. How do you put a price on history?
The stone was called the Mirror of Portugal.
Why Portugal?
It's big all right,
but if the legend is true, it's dangerous.
See, an Indian prince is killed
for it to be brought to another prince --
Henry the Navigator -- in the days of Portugal's glory.
Later it is pledged to Queen Elizabeth of England
by Don Antonio, The Pretender,
but before he can redeem it, what happens?
He is assassinated.
It stays here till Charles I is executed,
then, by way of his Queen Henrietta
and Mazarin to the French Crown,
where the mob cuts off another royal owner's head.
DORRINGTON: Whereupon it disappeared.
In so far as I believed the legend at all, so I believed.
DORRINGTON: Until?
Today. Have you got it?
- No. -But you intend to.
Well, it sounds a useful sort of thing to have.
Unless you are superstitious.
Or royal. Neither of which applies.
In any case, I don't propose to hoard it, much less wear it.
How would you dispose of it?
- I hoped you might advise me. -Uh-huh.
Legally or illegally?
Well, you know me.
I'm always willing to consider profitable alternatives.
You could offer it to the French government for a reward.
- Provided I could show title? -Yes.
And the alternative?
You could have it recut, I imagine, by an expert.
- Someone like yourself. -I imagine.
-Into? -Three, four stones maybe.
- Worth? -I would have to see to say.
At a guess?
- Together? -Mm-hmm.
-£100,000 maybe. -[ Whistles softly]
This is if the rumors of the size and quality of the original
are anything to go by.
- I won't quote you. -Thank you.
- Not even to yourself. -God forbid!
[ Both laugh ]
-[ Doorbell ringing] -Don't disturb yourself.
Oh, that's all right. That'll be for me.
You know, for a man who comes to ask for free advice,
you are a liberty-taker.
[ Chuckles ]
FARRISH: Good morning, sir.
Out, out, outside! Outside.
Little pitchers have long ears.
Quick.
Thanks for the tea!
[Door closes, doorbell ringing]
So... So, what did they say?
- Nothing. -Nothing?
Well, they never got the chance.
The big fella just said, "Little pitchers have --"
"...have long ears."
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know.
[ Chuckles ]
"Trust." [ Chuckles ]
[ Indistinct arguing ]
Less noise, Farrish!
You'll be getting the place a bad name.
MAN: It is very important! I have a business meeting!
- PARROT: You are not allowed -- -MAN: Let go of me!
PARROT: No!
Look! I said --
Ugh!
- You again? -Monsieur Dorrington!
Well, you said not to allow him
to show his face around here again, sir.
Yes, carry on with the good work, Farrish.
But the fee you demanded! I have it, you see?!
So you do.
Parrot, Farrish, really. My dear Monsieur Bouvier.
I can only apologize for a most regrettable misunderstanding.
So I should hope.
Though, in fairness to my assistants,
it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than for a poor man to enter my office.
However...
It wasn't such a difficult sum to raise, then.
[Chuckling ] Oh. If you knew what I had to do.
Yes, I'd rather not.
So, all's well that ends well, eh?
Now...what was it you wished to consult me about?
JACQUES: Don't tell me you have forgot.
I'm too busy to dwell upon a case
until money has changed hands.
You'll have to remind me.
The diamond!
That's right.
And something about a cousin, wasn't it?
My cousin Leon. He is coquin -- a rascal.
Yes, it's coming back. He runs a café, doesn't he?
The Café des Bons Camarades.
- In Soho? -You remember.
- Vaguely. -I told you.
But how did he come by that diamond?
I remember at the time that worried me.
[ Sighs ] Listen.
My father, he was a charcoal burner at Bonneuil.
My uncle, the father of my cousin, charcoal burner also.
- My grandfather, his father -- -Yes, yes, all right.
We don't have to go back to the Book of Genesis.
You come of a family of charcoal burners.
From Bonneuil, Department of Seine.
Your pride of ancestry is most affecting, Monsieur Bouvier.
Is it relevant?
[ scoffs 1
The father of my grandfather was a leader of the revolution.
Oh, you mean he stole the thing?
I do not say "stole."
Then he went back to burning charcoal
with this priceless gem
which was handed down from father to son?
- Until my grandfather. -Why?
- Pardon? -Why didn't he sell it?
[ scoffs 1
Who would believe that a poor charcoal burner
had come honestly by such a jewel?
Yes, it's plausible. Ironic, but plausible.
More.
I believe that my grandfather, he comes to love that stone.
It is very beautiful.
It is the Mirror of Portugal.
You told me you hadn't seen it.
My father did.
Mmm. Before your uncle inherited it, presumably?
My father swears it was meant for him.
DORRINGTON: Mm, that's families for you.
Then...my father died suddenly.
An accident says my uncle.
[ Scoffs ] No accident says my mother.
Then, soon after, she dies suddenly.
Another accident?
[ Scoffs ] Yeah, another accident, too.
So I am left alone, a little boy to burn charcoal.
DORRINGTON: Ohh.
Then comes the Prussian War.
My uncle burning charcoal no more.
Takes things from the bodies of the dead besiegers.
Perhaps when he finds them, they are not quite dead, huh?
Perhaps he makes them so.
Be that as it will,
one dark night, the Prussians take him outside.
They put him up against the wall and piff-puff.
What with the streak of delinquency
and the accident rate in your family,
it's a wonder any of you are alive to tell the tale.
My cousin Leon, he is alive!
He has the café given to him by my aunt.
He has the jewel.
There are no two ways about it. Life can be unfair.
Shall I burn charcoal at Bonneuil and starve
while I have a rich cousin in London --
rich with a diamond that should be mine?
Not so.
I come to London.
I tell Leon he must share.
He laughs at me.
"There is no diamond," he says. "You're mad," he says.
Not so!
If you're so sure, why come to me?
Why not the police?
Aww, the police.
It is one of the crown jewels of France, you understand.
To go to the police is to lose it altogether.
Well...
And what do you expect me to do about it?
Steal it for you?
How can you steal what does not belong?
I merely require instructions, not a grounding in ethics.
Then, yes, and soon.
Already he's going every day to Hatton Garden.
There he has an office.
Perhaps he's getting rid of the diamond already.
Who can tell?
Who indeed?
What kind of fee do you propose?
Well, I've already paid your fee.
What, this?
This barely covers the time I've spent with you.
Get the diamond and there is one-quarter, 25% for you.
[ Laughs 1
What guarantee have I got that you're telling the truth?
Oh, it is true, I say.
I don't even know if the diamond exists at all.
-It is a fortune. -Yes, that may be,
but you really can't expect me to take it all on trust
and work for nothing.
I'm a man of business.
I have no money.
You said that before.
I got what you asked for.
Then do so again.
Then we can talk further, hmm?
JACQUES: But I cannot raise anymore!
And I can't afford to pursue the fantasies
of every Jacques, Dick, and Harry who knocks on my door!
Oh, do not be foolish!
It seems to me that I already have been.
You come here.
You try to enlist my services
with as long and unlikely a rigmarole
as I've ever been bored by,
and then have the gall to tell me that you can't pay for them?
It is a chance of a lifetime!
I'd be in a poor way if it were.
- But, mon Dieu! -I'll give you mon Dieu!
I'll have you know I made preliminary inquiries.
Oh, yes.
I've got my reputation to think of.
And there's not the slightest evidence
that this famous diamond ever existed.
Now, I don't know what your game is --
I tell you --
No, I tell you I want no part in it, sir.
Now, you get out!
Or I'll call the constable this instant
and inform him
that you have invited me to engage in a criminal activity.
Farrish!
Get this piece of French offal out of here before I damage it!
Sir.
Now, you show your face around here again, and I'm warning you.
I'll have you clapped behind bars!
- And the fee I am paying you? -Have it back!
I don't do business with the likes of you!
Sir! You are a very big fool!
Get out!
Well, whatever did he want, sir?
He wanted me to steal that diamond.
Good Lord.
He wanted me to do it for nothing
and give him three-quarters of the proceeds.
PARROT: [ Chuckling 1 No wonder you were indignant.
In all the time I've worked for you, sir,
I've never known you to return a fee before.
I wasn't returning a fee. I was simply reinvesting it.
In what, sir?
Oh, there are times, Farrish, and this is one of them,
when I really do despair of you.
What better way could I convince my would-be client
that I don't believe in him?
- I thought you did. -I do.
Then your indignation...
Was expressly designed to suggest the opposite.
Why?
Because, you dolt, the last thing he'll expect
is for me to go looking for the Mirror of Portugal now.
And by the time he realizes it, if he ever does...
You will have found it, sir.
With any luck.
And disposed of it.
And given all the proceeds to my favorite charity,
which, if Solomons is any judge,
is set fair to benefit to the tune of £100,000.
[ French-style accordion music plays]
[Muffled screaming]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
I don't think I could eat another thing.
[ Laughs ] Coffee? Brandy?
No, really, Uncle.
Alors, L'addition, s'il vous plait.
Bien, monsieur.
[ Groaning ]
Oh! Leon!
That's le patron. Come on.
- Leon! -[ Gasping ]
Here, here! Prends le cognac!
[Speaking French]
[Coughs and gasps]
I am -- [Gasping] I am coming home.
I am in -- in the alley.
There is a knee in my back,
a cloth over my face!
I choke. I fall.
There is no more.
Leon, the box?
Mon Dieu. Gone.
Oh, we are robbed!
Now, be a good fellow, George. Run and fetch a constable.
No, no.
HARKNESS: But, my dear chap, this is a job for the police.
No, I know who did this.
Well, all the more reason.
-It is Jacques, huh? -ls my cousin.
Oh, I see. Well, that does make it awkward.
Very hot on family loyalty, the French.
I'll say.
Now, what you need is a private detective.
Yes, yes. Where to find?
We do not know any private detectives, monsieur.
Ah, well, as it happens, I do.
There's a firm we've used from time to time.
Really?
Whether I've got their address --
Yes, I have.
Here, I'll jot it down for you.
Yes, yes. I go now.
Are you sure you're in a fit state?
Oh, there is no time to lose, monsieur!
Vite! Leon, go!
Horace Dorrington's the man you need.
Now, don't tell your mother about this
or I'll never hear the end of it.
What larks, eh?
[Knocking on door]
- Monsieur Dorrington! -Oh, I wish I were.
- Where is he?! -Do you know what time it is?
I must see him!
Well, you can't. Look, he went home hours ago.
What? Still here, Farrish?
Oh, good evening, sir.
LEON: [ Gasps] Monsieur Dorrington!
The French are taking over, aren't they?
Yes, I'm Dorrington.
What can I do for you?
Something terrible! I must speak with you.
Come in and sit down.
Thank you.
What was all that about? Oh.
Well, well. [ Laughs ]
I shall have to start charging you rent.
We were working late, sir.
Ah, a delightful euphemism.
We'll be off, then, sir.
I think not. You'll await my convenience.
Now, what can I do for you, monsieur?
I am robbed, Mr. Dorrington.
Robbed by my cousin! Coquin!
Then you better inform the police, hadn't you?
I do not wish to damage my cousin,
thief that he is.
And you don't want the police
asking awkward questions, either,
do you, Monsieur Leon Bouvier?
You know my name?
DORRINGTON: There's very little I don't know about you.
But how?
It's my trade.
You don't believe me? Let's see if I can convince you.
It's my trade, for instance,
to know of the Café des Bons Camarades.
It's my trade to know of a misunderstanding
between a group of Prussian soldiers
and your late lamented father.
It's my trade, moreover, to know of your uncle's sudden demise --
an accident, of course -- just like that,
which, shortly afterwards, overtook his widow.
-[ Page turning] -Oh, yes, and more.
It's my trade to know of a dispute
between your cousin and yourself
over a property just such
as that which you have lost tonight.
A diamond -- is that right?
The Mirror of Portugal --
a stone which disappeared during the great revolution of 1789...
in which it appears one of your charcoal-burning ancestors
played a leading role.
It's not possible.
A client's affairs are sacred,
and our resources are at his disposal.
Perhaps you should become a client?
Yes.
-[ Chuckles ] -Yes, indeed.
[ Chuckling ] Very wise choice, if I may so.
[Knocking on door]
What the devil? Farrish!
I'm busy, damn it!
Forgive me, monsieur.
FARRISH: Inspector, he's very busy. I'm sorry.
[indistinct talking]
It's the police, sir. They insist.
DORRINGTON: Tell them to wait!
This won't wait, Dorrington, I'm afraid.
How dare you, sir?
Who's this?
A client. Monsieur Bouvier.
I am in professional consultation.
Inspector Brent of the Metropolitan Police
is an old friend of mine.
I use the term in its widest sense.
A bit late to be seeing clients, isn't it?
That's my affair. What do you want here?
Mm, well, I don't think we need to detain you, sir.
On the contrary.
I shall need you as a witness.
I may seek damages against this outrageous intrusion.
Take a shorthand note of everything that he said.
I advise you not to obstruct us, Dorrington.
I'm here in connection
with the theft of the Franz Hals painting.
No doubt.
Ah, so you don't deny knowledge of it.
On the contrary.
Since you failed so dismally to recover it,
the insurance company has engaged me to do so.
Hmm. Well, we have found the thief.
Ah, congratulations.
And he tells me that you've got there first
and made him give the property to you.
This will put you away for 14 years, Dorrington.
Have you got that, Farrish?
You're a witness, Monsieur Bouvier.
I shall issue a writ for slander first thing tomorrow morning.
Hah. All right, Colson. You take that side.
Simpson, over there, and you two in there.
I assume you have a warrant.
Section 3, '61 Act to search and seize.
Help yourself at your peril,
if you wouldn't mind leaving a little corner
where my client and I can discuss an urgent matter.
Oh, very well. Over there.
Thank you.
Make a note of any damage they cause.
Now, you've agreed to become a client.
Yes.
You wish me to recover your lost property.
Yes!
Well, then, the first thing is an advance against my fee.
How much?
20 guineas is usual.
[Exhales sharply] This is a large amount.
Large? Nonsense. It's a bare half-day's expenses.
Besides, a cafe proprietor
and a diamond merchant such as yourself...
You know this, too?
It's my trade, I tell you. 20 guineas.
Do I get a receipt?
Between gentlemen?
Ah. Have you got a license for this?
Unlucky again.
You'll find it in the same drawer at the back.
Hmm.
Oh, by the way, where did you keep --
where did you keep your property?
In a little wooden box on a cord around my neck.
I mean, always. Even in bed.
Poor Madame Bouvier.
- Please? -No matter.
Oh, Dorrington.
I'd like the key to that cabinet, please.
I'm sorry, Inspector.
You mean you won't give it to me?
I mean I don't appear to have the key on me.
In that case, we shall have to force it open.
I warn you. It's a period piece.
If you damage it...
Well...
You might have told me it was empty.
You didn't ask me.
To the damage of one Chippendale cabinet -- 42 guineas.
No luck? Oh, dear me.
Dorrington, you needn't think you've heard the last of this.
Nor you.
I shall send the bill
for the damage you have caused to your superiors.
Farrish, show the constabulary out.
Sir.
All right, men.
Now we can talk freely.
Yes.
The little box you kept around your neck...
Yes.
Tonight when I come to myself, my collar is broken,
and the stud, you see --
the cord, it is cut, and all is gone.
And do you think your cousin has done this?
Who else? Who else would even know?
Well, we'd best have a look at the scene of the crime.
Farrish, Parrot.
I'll join you downstairs, monsieur.
Monsieur.
Going, sir?
I'll be back. You stay here.
Unless I'm much mistaken,
there will be some work for you to do
before the night is much older.
And you can clear up this...mess!
But I'll miss my train!
DORRINGTON: Oh, dear.
But it's the last one!
You should have thought of that before.
- FARRISH: But, sir. -Well?
Miss Parrot, sir. She'll be compromised.
Then you'll have to make an honest woman of her, won't you?
Does this serve anyone but you?
No. No one at all.
- Give me the lantern, madame. -Monsieur.
Now, if you would stand away, I'll join you presently.
- Thank you. -Ahh!
Did you find something, monsieur?
Nothing to speak of.
Permettez, monsieur.
Madame.
You do not mind if I give Leon to eat now, monsieur?
Oh, of course not, madame.
LEON: Will you join us, monsieur?
I've already dined, thank you.
Oh. Some coffee, perhaps? Or a digestif?
Well, I wouldn't say no to a glass of cognac.
Ah, trés bien, monsieur.
Your cousin -- has he been ill lately?
- III? 'Jacques,
Not that I know of. [ Chuckles ]
He has never been ill in his life -- that one.
[ Chuckles ]
- Voilá, monsieur. -Merci, madame.
We are -- how do you say --
the constitution as of oxes in my family.
Yes, you don't seem to go in much
for death from natural causes.
Santé.
Why do you ask?
Mmm. Just an idea.
Does he wear spectacles?
- Jacques? Spectacles?
- Why should he? -Not even for reading.
His eyes are perfect -- as good as mine.
Good. Then listen carefully.
If you see your cousin, do or say nothing.
Simply act normally, except in one particular.
You are on no account to go to Hatton Garden tomorrow.
- Why not? -I shall go in your place.
Give me the address of your office.
It is shared. I have no key.
DORRINGTON: No matter.
But what will you do there?
That's my business.
But I insist --
And I insist upon doing business in my way...
- But I have the right! -...or not at all.
It's up to you.
Very well.
Ah. There's a good fellow.
If you could perhaps just give me a hint.
That I Will do.
Where is it that diamonds are sold?
[ Scoffs ] In Hatton Garden.
As well you know, and as your cousin knows,
if, as I suspect, he's been watching you.
Ah!
You think he will go there to sell it.
And when he does, I shall be there to intercept him.
- But how? -That's my affair.
All you need to do
is to stay here at home until you hear from me.
But you have a plan.
[ Laughs ] Oh, yes, I have a plan.
On that, you may rest assured.
[ Laughs 1
Which I must now perfect.
- Madame, monsieur. -Monsieur.
Good night to you!
- Bon soir, monsieur! -Bon soir, monsieur!
[Clock chiming]
[Yawns loudly]
DORRINGTON: If you can't keep awake, keep quiet!
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
[Yawns loudly]
Well, one of you might take a bit of an interest!
Sir.
Throw me that trade directory over, would you?
Meanwhile, what do you make of this?
[ sniffs 1
It's a chloroform bottle.
Look, I already told you that.
What does it suggest?
That Cousin Jacques has taken the law into his own hands, sir.
Wrong. Cousin Leon thinks he has.
I don't understand, sir.
Jacques thinks that Leon has the diamond,
and Leon thinks that Jacques has relieved him of it.
I don't propose to disillusion either of them yet awhile.
FARRISH: Why not, sir?
Because they're both wrong. Ah.
Then who has got it?
A third party, obviously.
Obviously.
Yes, but who, sir?
In the state you're in,
we'll be here all night if I have to explain it to you.
As it is,
find out how many druggists there are in Hatton Garden
and give me a list by 9:00 tomorrow morning,
by which time you will have established
whether this gentleman --
I've written his home address for you on the back --
wears spectacles or possibly a pair of pince-nez
and furthermore whether he has had to resort to repairs
or a spare pair of late.
- Clear? -But, sir, how can I do --
Well, that's simple enough, isn't it?
Well, yes.
Well, then don't make difficulties.
He'll be in bed by now, sir.
- Very probably. -Then how can I go --
Well, you're compromised already, aren't you?
Cheer up.
The course of true love and all that.
FARRISH: If only you'd take us into your confidence and --
Haven't I been trying to do so?
And let's take it again, slowly this time.
Depending upon the number of druggists in Hatton Garden
and whether Mr. Hamer, if he wears them,
has had an accident with his glasses
or pince-nez or whatever,
why, then, when I call upon him tomorrow morning,
the chances are that he'll suffer
from something a good deal more profitable to me
and more painful to him than toothache!
- Now do you see? -Toothache, sir?
Oh, I'm wasting my time.
Just do as you're told.
Be off with you, the pair of you.
- Good night, sir. -Good night, sir.
[Typewriter keys clacking]
[Dial clicking]
[Keys jangling]
Good morning, Mr. Hamer.
You're early. Do come in.
How's the toothache?
- Do I know you? -Oh, you do now.
Chloroform is a capital thing for toothache, don't you think?
What's your business?
I came to collect a diamond.
Since it doesn't appear to be here,
I assume you have it with you.
Before you do anything hasty,
let me show you a chloroform bottle
which was dropped last night.
It's beyond repair, I'm afraid.
Happily, you didn't quite clean off the label.
Or else I might have had a difficulty
in establishing the owner.
But, as you see, you left
the first letter of "E.C." in the address
and the end of "Hatton Garden" just before it.
And since there's only one druggist in the Garden,
I was able to establish that he had, in fact,
made up the remedy for you.
Well?
Yes, as your tone suggests, there is another matter.
It's best to use a cord with pince-nez.
It can save a breakage,
should the glasses get knocked off in certain circumstances.
I see you're wearing a new pair.
I can restore at least a part of those
which you dropped last night.
Yes, I agree.
It might be best to shut the door.
We don't want to be overheard, do we?
But to continue...
As you will perceive,
you're quite unable to hurt me, and I'm not anxious to hurt you.
My name is Dorrington of Dorrington & Hicks.
You may have heard of us. My card.
I'm acting for a Monsieur Leon Bouvier,
who shares this office with you.
It seems that he was set upon
in the alley outside his café last night
and robbed of a diamond.
I'm here to take it from you.
What on earth makes you think that I've got it?
[ Chuckling ] Oh, come, Mr. Hamer,
that's hardly worthy of you.
If you insist, I'll show you all the cards I hold.
But you're a man of business like myself.
And since the scene of the crime
is positively strewn with your possessions,
need we really, as men of the world,
descend to piffling details?
Very well.
Suppose I have got it and refuse to hand it over to you.
Oh, you're in no position to refuse.
I say you're bluffing.
Then you're a slower man than I took you for.
I've only to take my little bits of evidence to the police,
and you'd have an uncomfortably complete case
of robbery with violence to answer for, wouldn't you?
How is your client going to explain the fact
that he comes to be in possession
of a diamond worth at least £100,000?
If you were fool enough to go to them,
the police might want to know that, too.
That's a very good card to play, Mr. Hamer.
- Where did he steal it, huh? -Really, a capital card.
I think it takes the trick.
If I preferred my client's interests to my own, it would.
But suppose -- just suppose --
I don't care what becomes of my client.
You'd be trumped, then, wouldn't you?
You mean to grab it for yourself?
- Did I say so? -No, never mind.
I think we can come to an arrangement
now that we understand each other.
How much do you want?
I want the diamond which you stole.
Well, we're in the same position.
So, let us divide.
Our positions could be hardly less similar.
You're liable to instant criminal prosecution,
which I can institute just like that.
I have simply come authorized by my client,
who bears full responsibility for his own misdemeanors
to demand the return of a property which you have stolen.
That is the difference between our positions, Mr. Hamer.
Now...
do I call a policeman...
or do you give in?
Oh, well.
[ Laughing ] I give in, I suppose.
DORRINGTON: Where is the diamond?
At home.
At home?
Mrs. Hamer thought it best to leave it there
till the hue and cry blew over.
A wise woman.
I thought so, too.
Now I'm not so sure.
DORRINGTON: Oh?
From the moment I met him,
I realized that Bouvier was up to something.
He was always talking about big diamonds
when he was peddling rubbish.
It was obviously a blind. That's why I asked him in here.
Then I noticed he was always playing
with this string around his neck.
Oh, but that we should take steps --
that was my lady wife's idea.
When we saw it -- Phew!
No wonder I dropped the bottle and my pince-nez got broken.
It's a wonder I didn't drop my hat and coat, as well.
You've never seen anything like it!
I can hardly contain my impatience.
Shall I wire Mrs. Hamer?
That's not the way.
But how?
We'll go together and take her by surprise, shall we?
You don't trust me?
Oh, implicitly, so long as you aren't out of my sight.
Come. Let's take a hansom.
Is it far?
Bessborough Street, Hammersmith.
You'll find Mrs. Hamer has a temper of her own, mind.
Well, well, we all have our failing.
A moment now before we start. Observe.
You wriggled a little at first. That was natural.
I know when I'm beaten.
Then know that at the first sign of another wriggle,
I shall stop it once and for all.
I understand.
Good. Then let's proceed, shall we?
[Doorbell rings]
Mr. Hamer.
Is your mistress at home, Bates?
Yes, sir. She's upstairs in her room.
Well, ask your mistress to be so good as to step down, will you?
Yes, sir.
Mmm.
Nice little place you have here.
Thank you.
I shouldn't like anything to spoil it.
You've made your point.
Good.
Ludwig, why have you returned so soon?
DORRINGTON: Mrs. Hamer.
Well?
A pleasure to make your acquaintance, mum.
This is Mr. Dorrington of Dorrington & Hicks,
the private detectives.
How very thrilling,
though I'm sure I can't imagine
in what way we can be of any assistance to you.
Oh, I like it.
Am I to enlighten her, or will you?
He wants the diamond.
[ Chuckling ] What? Diamond?
What diamond?
Admirable, really. She's a treasure.
What do you mean?
No good, my dear.
I've tried everything I can think of.
Our only comfort is that we are safe,
so long as we hand it over.
Have you any idea what my husband is talking about?
Show her the evidence.
Oh, must I?
HAMER: Nothing I say can convince her.
Oh, how very tedious.
Very well.
Item -- the fragments of a chloroform bottle,
one of several supplied to your husband.
Item -- a lens from a pince-nez belonging to your husband,
dropped last night during an affray
outside the Café des Bons Camarades.
You see?
And you let this man leave your office
with these things in his possession
after he'd shown them to you?
Oh, now, you mustn't be unfair on him.
You coward.
You see, I had the forethought to visit your husband with this.
You might just as well give in gracefully, Maria.
I have.
Give our guest a whiskey and soda water, my dear.
Yes, of course.
Thank you, no. I seldom drink in the daytime.
And not to put too fine a point upon it,
I couldn't allow either of you to deprive me of your company
until I have that diamond.
What right does this man Bouvier have to it?
No good, Maria.
We have to give it to him.
Why?
Because if you don't, I shall call in the police.
Then we lose the diamond and everything else, too.
We've got it.
You're bound to give us at least a half share.
Bound? Bound by what?
I mean, we're none of us able to bring morals into this.
And while you may be influenced by your fear of it,
I certainly don't know of any law I'm bound by.
In common fairness, then.
Oh, I hate to disappoint a lady,
but I'm here to impose terms, not to submit to them.
The diamond, if you please.
You will give us something, surely.
Oh, nothing is sure, mum,
except you'll face the police
if you don't give me that diamond without more ado.
I shall have to fetch it.
Oh, not again.
I am keeping it elsewhere.
Ah, well, I suppose the exercise will do me good.
Oh, you needn't trouble yourself.
Oh, no trouble.
I positively insist upon accompanying you.
[Bell ringing]
I'll get your hat.
I think we'll let your servant do that, shall we?
Your mistress's outdoor clothes.
I don't intend to leave you until this affair is settled.
And as I had to remind your husband,
argument could be positively fatal.
Where are you taking us?
Just along here, not far.
And no tricks, madam.
All right.
I give in.
I have been trying to shake you off.
I admit it.
I see now it can't be done.
I had the diamond with me all the time.
- What? -You -- You --
MRS. HAMER: Here.
And there it goes!
Do you know what you've done, you mad woman?
Yes, I know, but if I can't have it,
nobody else shall.
What are you going to do?
What can I do?
Locking you up won't fetch the diamond back,
and killing you won't help me, either.
Not now I have recovered my temper.
Now I may as well cut my losses...
and leave it to you to punish each other.
[Pounding on door]
MAN: Ah, Monsieur Dorrington is here?
- Yes, he will see you. -Thank you, sir.
Yes?
Two gentlemen to see you, sir.
Show them in.
Don't go, Farrish.
Sir.
- Gentlemen? -Ah, thank you.
Ah!
Monsieur Dorrington.
- Hello, again! -Gentlemen!
We are joining our forces.
Oh, I'm delighted to hear it!
It is all a misunderstanding, huh?
Splendid!
Such a stone is surely big enough for two cousin to share.
- If you say so! -Do you have it, huh?
- No. -Eh?
Well, Jacques has not.
On the other hand, I know exactly where it is,
and you could get it as easily as I.
- Mon Dieu! -Ah! Where?
Well, I hate to introduce a mundane note,
but there is the matter of the balance of my fee first.
How much?
Shall we say a further 80 guineas?
This makes 100 guineas altogether!
- Between the two of you. -Ah, don't argue.
Very well.
Seven...
Ah!
80.
Thank you.
Guineas.
Ah. Thank you.
-[ Chuckles ] -[ Chuckles ]
- Now, where? Where? -Bien.
At the bottom of the Thames.
Approximately in the middle, I'd say,
where the steps lead down to the towpath at Richmond Lock.
How do we get it back from there?
Well, you could buy a boat and try fishing for it,
but if that doesn't appeal,
you could wait for some future age,
until the bed of the Thames
is rediscovered as a diamond field, I suppose.
[ Chuckles ]
For this you are charging me 100 guineas?
80 of which, with my very own eyes,
he is handing to you just now?
100 guineas?
JACQUES: Unh!
Did you see any money change hands, Farrish?
- No, sir. -You know very well!
Nor I.
Come to think of it, is either of these persons known to you?
I've never seen either of them before, sir.
How can you say that?
We would appear to be the victims
of a pair of confidence tricksters, wouldn't you say?
It seems very likely, sir.
I come to see you about the diamond!
We pay you to recover the diamond!
Oh, nonexistent diamonds?
Oh, that old one, sir?
Oh, whatever next?
You'd best call a constable.
Right away, sir.
All right, my friend, all right!
But we get even with you.
Oh, that'll be the day.
Who's a big fool now, huh?
[ Laughs 1
Not quite so profitable as our usual run of business,
but not without its lighter moments, eh, Farrish?
[ Chuckles, clears throat ]
Yes?
Well, wouldn't you say that my part in this
went beyond the call of normal duty, sir?
Yes, Farrish, in all honesty, I would.
Well, in that case, sir --
Look, I'll tell you what,
I'll overlook your indiscretions with Miss Parrot, shall I?
Thank you very much, sir.
Oh, not at all, my dear fellow, not at all.
[Door closes]
[ Chuckles ]
"Trust."